Category: Divorce

Divorce: It Doesn’t Have to be a Fight

So, you’ve popped the question, walked down the aisle, said I do, and celebrated those closest to you. Time ticks forward, the honeymoon phase passes, and you come to the unfortunate realization that you and your spouse may not be right for each other. Soon after you hear those four dreaded words “I want a divorce”.

While I hope none of you find yourselves in that position, the fact remains that it is very much a possibility. My own family has been plagued with divorces. It just seems to be one of those things that is prevalent in every community. But what do you do when you find yourself suddenly in the middle of one? What should your next steps be when you decide you want out or when your spouse slaps the papers on the dinner table? The short answer, call an attorney.

The long answer, find a competent

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5 Ways to Get Past Your Breakup – Moving Past Divorce

By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW

When a romantic relationship or marriage ends, it’s natural to experience feelings of rejection, anger, sadness, guilt, or regret. Self-defeating thoughts can grab hold because you’re vulnerable and trying to make sense of things. However, it’s important to realize that this is a normal part of grieving and letting go after a relationship dissolves.

While it’s normal to go through a period of self-reflection when your relationship ends, it’s crucial that you keep things in perspective. Losing a partner, even if you made a decision to end the relationship, can disrupt your life on so many levels because your ex was undoubtedly a part of your daily existence. As a result, breakups can weaken your ability to sleep, eat well, and function at work and in social spheres.

To complicate matters, studies have discovered that experiencing a breakup can leave you with a diminished sense

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Celebrating National Bacon Day

December 30th is National Bacon Day. I assume it is a day to glorify and celebrate the many epicurean triumphs that bacon has brought to our society. Well, bah humbug. I for one, shall not be celebrating such a day.

Bacon, Anyone?

Bacon itself is not at all unpalatable. In fact, with eggs and toast in the morning, it is a perfectly delicious way to begin the day. Crispy or chewy, I actually enjoy the taste. Even more so if it is bacon from the butcher’s counter, rather than the prepackaged, wet, and brine-injected bologna that is trying to pass as bacon (which, even then, is still pretty good).

Even Canadian Bacon has its place at my table. Bacon fat also remains an interesting and delicious medium for heat transfer. Why then, given all this praise, that I decline to celebrate on bacon day? Because as a food it is

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Holidays Around the World

In the same vein as a previous post about starting new holiday traditions after separation, here are some fun ways Christmas is celebrated in other countries!

Holiday Celebrations Around the Globe

Japan: Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Christmas dinner of champions. Thanks to a marketing campaign in the mid-1970s, Japanese children associate the holiday with KFC. It is complete with the Colonel in Santa getups, themed containers for chicken and drinks, and a special Christmas combo bucket complete with all the secret spice chicken, salad, and cake. The lines get so busy that customers may wait up to two hours to get a bucket to go. Appreciation of food has no borders, and there is no reason why fried chicken can’t be the centerpiece to the Christmas dinner (except maybe health reasons).

The Netherlands: clogs for Christmas. Sinterklaas is the Santa analog over in the Dutch part of the

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“I Do” Optional

Texas is one of the few states that recognizes common law marriage. Also known as an informal marriage, it allows a couple to be married without having to go through a marriage ceremony. Unless there is a declaration of marriage signed, there are set requirements that must be met to be apart of an informal marriage.

First, the couple must agree to be married. I know this one seems obvious, but it is a requirement that can be misconstrued by a party to the relationship. For instance, an engagement does not constitute a present agreement of marriage, but that the couple will be married in the future. The key difference being that the agreement to an informal marriage must be that the agreement is present and immediate. If a party tells others they are married, but the other party does the opposite, there is no present agreement. If a party …

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Co-Parenting with Someone Who is Narcissistic or Challenging – Moving Past Divorce

Home » Co-Parenting with Someone Who is Narcissistic or Challenging

At its best, co-parenting is a wonderful opportunity for children of divorce to have close to equal access to both parents – to feel it is okay to love both of their parents. Experts agree that the outcomes for children of divorce improve when they have positive bonds with both parents. These include better psychological and behavioral adjustment, and enhanced academic performance. However, few experts discuss the drawbacks of co-parenting when one parent is hands-off, has a high conflict personality; or a personality disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

What is the solution for parents who want to co-parent with an ex who is narcissistic or challenging? According to Dr. Edward Kruk, Ph.D., “Parallel Parenting is an arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other, and having limited contact, in situations

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How to Repair from Arguments and Diffuse Negativity in Marriage – Moving Past Divorce

We’ve all been there: embroiled in an argument with our partner, caught up in emotion, and perhaps most crucially, unsure of how something seemingly small escalated. The touchy topic of who’s “right” and who’s “wrong” in a conflict between partners often misses the point and prevents them from moving beyond the spat in a constructive way that provides tools helpful in avoiding future quarrels.

For instance, Alyssa, 45, and Rick, 46, are caught up in an ongoing cycle of bickering about small matters that often escalates quickly into a full-blown argument. Recently, Alyssa noticed Rick’s credit card statement on his desk and saw a $125.00 charge at his favorite Trek Bike shop.

Without stopping to gather information, Alyssa accused Rick of being extravagant and he counter attacked with blaming her for their financial problems because she reduced her hours at work to spend time with their two children. After calming

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Develop New Holiday Traditions After Divorce

Creating a new family tradition can be a way to bring cheer to the holidays for both children and adults, especially when the family structure is changing due to divorce. One way to bond in a new family dynamic is to incorporate ‘matching outfits’, such as holiday themed pajamas or the famous ‘ugly Christmas sweater’. The following ideas can help you develop new holiday traditions after divorce.

Ideas to Try

According to The Suburban Mom blogger Jen Burg, whose blog has featured a variety of expert tips on navigating family life, matching pajamas can help kids feel cozy and relaxed during the holidays and provide an opportunity for fun family bonding activities. She also notes that the pajamas can make for some cute pictures!

How About the Ugly Christmas Sweater?

The ugly Christmas sweater has earned its place in American lore and has become increasingly popular in recent

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Enjoying Winter Solstice in North Carolina Winter Solstice

In the Northern Hemisphere the 2022 winter solstice will occur on December 21st. Winter solstice is when the North Pole is tilted farthest away from the sun.  At this time, the Arctic Circle is cloaked in darkness and the longest night of the year happens.  The winter solstice also signifies a turning point where the days begin gradually to get longer again.

A Global Celebration

Many cultures around the world have a long history of celebrating the winter solstice.  Cultures attach great meaning to the solstices because the sun is a sacred star at the center of the solar system.  The sun not only serves as a function of time, but it also sets the weather and indicates agricultural patterns, which were extremely important for historical civilizations.

In South America, the Inti Raymi festival reigns supreme for celebrating the solstices.  Inti Raymi honors the Inca sun god Inti.  There is

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Newly Divorced? How to Make a Fresh Start for the Holidays

Are you newly divorced or separated? For some who are freshly separated from a spouse, the holidays can be difficult. There are a lot of emotions at play, and the holidays are generally a time to be with friends and family. When you are in the middle of a separation, all those traditions and memories are reminders of how things used to be. Everything is upended as you begin splitting your former lives. It may be a lonely time, but there is a reason why the separation was necessary. Never forget that this choice was made for long-term happiness. One great way to get that feeling of a fresh start is to begin some new traditions.

Check Out the Movies

With Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, HBO, Disney, and myriad TV stations all having streaming apps, watching movies and TV shows has never been easier. A great way to spend a weekend

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